I have a gyaruo boyfriend now.

If you don't know what a gyaruo is and you want to read a blog written about the day to day life of a gyaruo, I'm pretty into this guy's blog, and the vanity/insecurity aura this guy put out in every photo of himself that he takes with his cell phone camera and posts of himself. I'm going to tell you a story about a gyaruo but not the guy in any of these pictures. I would never post a picture of a nice boyfriend on the internet. ;)

Last week, I fell madly in love with that gyaruo boy I kissed after Ayaka left me on her birthday. We kissed for almost 2 hours outside (I'm not even stretching the truth about that, and we didn't do anything but kiss) and he was maybe the best kisser I've ever kissed. He told me he loves kissing more than anything else in the world and that his lips are the most sensitive part of his body. He is really, really earnest and says such cute things in such a serious voice that he constantly makes me do double-takes, like "did he really just say that?!"

We met again last night and it was so fun and natural with no awkwardness at all. He's actually a smart guy, and funny in a strange way. We went for dinner and then walked around looking at the Christmas lights. We took purikura together and then we went to a hotel at around 10:30. There was something weird, though, and the weird thing was that he was wearing makup. Like not emo-boy eyeliner, but fucking foundation. And some brown liner stuff in his eyebrows. And I couldn't stop noticing it during the date, but for some reason it didn't gross me out like I would expect it would, and actually I kind of liked it. (I'm nev er going to be able to live in another country, Japan is ruining my sense of aesthetics and taste) So we went to the hotel because he said he wanted to have a long talk in the bath to get to know me better and kiss me for a long time, until morning. His words, not mine (except in Japanese). When we got to the hotel, I was really happy. He surprised me with all sorts of things he had in his bag, like milk tea (because told him I had never tried it) and wagashi (Because I told him I liked mochi, so he brought me Dango, a multicolored lollipop made of rice). He remembered every single part of everything we talked about the week before. He was really sweet and very physically affectionate, which I love.

We just stood there in the hotel, hugging and he kept kissing the top of my head. I feel like there's something wrong with me, because I don't know if I have ever been in love, but I am really good at making myself fall in love and knowing it's fake but still believing it. So I was feeling so in love that I was almost ready to cry, and then I looked at him and HE had tears in his eyes. (???) So he said he loved me more than he has ever loved anyone, ever, and he was so happy I was his girlfriend forever, and I almost burst out laughing because we met each other a week ago, in a club of all places, and he doesn't even really know me. But that's what this guy was: EARNEST.

So I told him I loved him too, and he suddenly turned all cute and smiley and told me to take his clothes off because he wanted to be my Christmas present. From this point on, it started getting sort of weird. I took off his clothes and until he was standing there wearing only hot pink and black Pink Panther underwear. Perfect. He is not skinny and actually has muscles. He is 181 CM tall. Then he pulled his iPod and some little music speaker out of his bag and told me he wanted to play music while he undressed me and then we'd jump on the bed together. I didn' t know what he meant and thought it was some kind of slang, but he actually meant jump on the bed, like kids do. So he started playing some kind of tacky Jrock and jumped up and down on the bed, like MISA, YAYYY! come on! Let's JUMP together! This is SO FUN! and I was just thinking "when in rome" or something and started jumping ...

and THEN he pulled a bubble wand and bubble soap out of his bag (that bag had EVERYTHING in it) and started blowing bubbles and I kept thinking, I'm jumping around on the bed of a sex hotel in Japan with a guy wearing makeup and hot pink underwear and eating a multicolored dango lollipop while trying to blow bubbles and spilling the bubble stuff all over the bed. WHAT???

Then the song ended, and he did this exagerrated "whew!" expression where he wiped his brow and then suggested we take a bubblebath together. There was a jaccuzzi and a TV in the bathroom. So we did. We kissed in the bathtub for a long time. Usually by the time I get to a hotel, I have no shyness and can be more aggressive about sex, but this guy was so unusual that I just wanted to see what he would do, so I didn't make any moves on him like I normally would, naked in a bubble bath with a guy. I just let him kiss me and touch me.

Suddenly, he announced that he wanted to play a game where we'd watch TV and tell each other if he thought the men on TV were handsome or not. He was dissapointed and shocked that I don't like Kimura Takuya, but we both agreed that Mizushima Hiro was handsome. Then we got out and he braided my whole head while we sat and talked, naked on the bed. Then he flat-ironed his hair and I helped him with the back. We talked about hair and fashion for a while.
It started to feel like I was on a sleepover with a young girl in a hot guy's body. Then I started to wonder if he was maybe gay. When we were making out in the bathtub,he wasn't hard. I started to think he just loves kissing because it feels good but doesn't really want to have sex. He kept saying, "I love being naked! Being naked is the BEST!" We weren't anywhere close to having sex yet. He was so fun to be with that I didn't care at that point though.

I wanted to ask about the makeup, so I complimented him on his beautiful skin. He told me, in this confiding-a-secret tone of voice, "actually, I'm wearing makeup" and I almost laughed. No shit. He was wearing tons. I acted surprised and asked him to see his makeup collection. He said he got the makeup from his mother and she was the one who taught him how to apply it! He told me not to tell anyone that he wears makeup (??) because Japanese people think it's gross for guys to wear makeup. We agreed that it would be our secret and that next week, we'd go to a hotel and I'd bring all my makeup and he'd bring his color contact lenses and collection of lenseless glasses we do a makeover on him and he'd put fake eyelashes on me and fake bangs and toenail polish and we'd take pictures together or make a movie. He told me he wanted to try wearing tons of blush and he wanted me to teach him how to blend it properly. okkay. At this point, the guy had morphed into my hot, gay best friend and I was hardly even thinking about sex except when he kissed me, which was often. I kept thinking abou Z-Man from Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls.

Then, suddenly, he told me to lie face down on the bed because he wanted to stroke me from my neck to my toes. He did. And then, he started stroking me in the lower back and on my ass and then he told me I had a really nice ass and I looked at him and he had finally gotten really hard. Then he lied down face down and asked me to stroke him the same way and I did, and every time I would touch his ass he'd get so cute and say, "kimochii" in this sweet voice. Then he got up and took a small, pink egg vibrator out of his magical bag that had everything in it. I thought he was going to want to use it on me (and I don't use other people's sex toys because I don't know where they have been) but he asked me to use it on him. I liked how he wasn't shy at ALL about saying anything, being naked, asking me to use a vibrator on his ass, anything. So I did, and he got really hard and then suddenly just jumped on me and started kissing me so passionately. I kind of love him.

We almost had sex, but then we stopped when he said that he didn't want to use a condom and I won't have sex without one. So he told me that he'd practice jerking off while wearing a condom every day next week and "teach" himself how to like it. Cute! So instead, he suggested that we prop pillows up behind each other's backs and sit face-to-face (him back to the bed and me back to the wall) and watch each other come. I used the vibrator on him while touching myself and he got himself off and came on my stomach. Afterwards, he suggested that we take a shower together and eat popcorn together in the bath, and pulled a bag of popcorn out of his magical bag.

He told me that he wanted to do this with me every week, so we decided to meet every Friday and go to a different hotel every time. In the morning, his hair and makeup routine lasted over an hour and a half. This guy was possibly the most fun guy I've ever been with, and we didn't even have actual sex.

Lost Girls and Love Hotels

This website, www.lovehoteljapan.blogspot.com may be getting more attention in the future. I just read that they are planning to make a movie out of the book, “Lost Girls and Love Hotels” (which I didn’t know had been written and now I kind of want to read it) starring Kate Bosworth, who is famous enough that even I know about her. (I do not follow celebrities) The book is about a foreign girl in Japan who goes to lots of love hotels with some yakuza boyfriend she has and there is probably more in the way of a plot, and it may be based on the author’s true experiences. I really hope that people find and read this website if the “Lost Girls and Love Hotels” movie does get made.

I hope that people find this website because I want people to know that the real people in Japan are not like the Western stereotype of Japan. All of the robots lovers, maid fetishists, schoolgirl obsessions, underwear thievery, etc are very, very fringe and not mainstream. The “cold, serious man / Samurai” stereotype, the “boring, socially awkward salaryman” stereotype, the “cold-hearted yakuza” stereotype and all of the other stupid stereotypes that keep showing up in Western movies about Japan have not been true of any guy I have been with.

Just as in any other country, there is a great variety of people in Japan. (I shouldn’t even have to say this. It should go without saying.) There are a lot of negative stereotypes and things that I have never experienced in Japan, and I've experienced a lot of different things with a lot of different people. All of my experiences with Japanese men have been positive, warm, satisfying encounters. A lot of my exes have remained my friends and we are still in contact today.

Why is Fear such a turn on?

Lately, this blog has been veering away from sex talk, so let's bring it back again.

I am scared of heights. I didn't think I was until I went to Germany as a teenager and tried to climb an open-air spiral thing that was part of a cathedral and didn't have any railings. I got so scared that I almost started to cry and I didn't know what to do. I just stood there alone in the cathedral spiral thing, hoping that someone would help me.

I hate heights. But for some reason, and I think this goes for almost everyone, the energy from hate and fear often get turned into sexual energy. That's why, with my first boyfriend in Japan, we went through a 3-month-or-so phase of sneaking into any high apartment building, going to the top floor, and having sex on the roof area or one of the highest (over 13 floors) balconies.

Sneaking into apartments in Japan is so easy. All you do is follow someone in. Pretend to be looking in your bag to find your key and when they open the door, just smile and say thank you and ride the elevator up and do whatever you want. (That is why, if there is another person looking for their keys in the front entrance of MY apartment, I always wait for them to unlock the door. They could be ANYBODY.)

The way we did it was always the same. I would be wearing a skirt. He would push me up against a railing so that I was halfway hanging over and scared out of my mind, and he would just pull my skirt up and my underwear down and do it from behind. Since it was public sex and not our building, we had to be fast, so to make me come faster he would sometimes put his hand over my mouth or talk to me really close to my ear. So hot.

And then when he would be close to coming, he would take the condom off and make himself come with his hand and it would shoot out over the side of the balcony and then we'd lean over the balcony all giggly like kids and watch it go down and try to listen for the little "splat" noise at the bottom.

Then we'd get out of there as fast as possible and burst out laughing aftr escaping and he'd get hungry for ramen. We did this at least once a week for 3 months. We almost got caught a bunch of times, and I'm sure there are security videotapes of us all over Kanto.

Left behind again ;)

I went out with Ayaka last weekend because it was her birthday. We went to a club. For all the bad things I could tell you about Ayaka, I have to say that she probably makes a party better than any other person on the face of the earth. In the first 30 minutes, she knew everyone and everyone knew it was her birthday and she was bought so many free drinks that she was all red-faced and wild before 11 PM. As usual, Ayaka was gone with a guy by 1 AM. She's so predictable but it's funny. She leaves me in a great position of being the "left behind friend" who everyone tries to protect and I'm never alone because everyone knows me because she meets everyone and introduces them to me. So I actually love getting left behind.

Last time she left me, last month, I met the Slow Guy (the handsome, nice guy who doesn't drink and who went on 5 dates with me and never even tried to hold my hand...he deserves a better girl who won't get bored of him. He was really nice.).

This time, I met someone 918273 times better and I feel like I'm in LOVE because he is very good at kissing and he's handsome and he asked me to be his girlfriend the first time I met him and of course I said yes. I'll write more about him later.

;)

Japan is so funny. They always ask you to me their girlfriend after the first kiss because they know that many Japanese girls won't have sex with a guy who isn't their "boyfriend" no matter how meaningless that term is. They also say "I love you" far too fast. But I don't mind. I love being loved and I love the feel of falling in love, so I am very happy.

We have a date this Friday and we already established that we are going to sleep over together.

The 4 Nympho

Ayaka invited me out tonight, which means that I'll probably end up ditched for a guy by midnight (will it be an American? A Frenchman? Another Brit? Only time will tell.) and I'll end up with the perfect 可愛いそう look that makes me very popular and gets me very laid in Japan. I actually love Ayaka for the reason that she is so obvious about using me to meet foreign guys and that makes me curious about her. I just love watching her.

There are different types of girls with high sex needs (4 types of sluts):

Girl A -The ones who are honest about what they do and everyone knows it. These are the kinds of people who are in open relationships. These are the kinds of people who get called "slut" in an insulting way during highschool but often in a positive way when they become adults. These people have the funniest stories and make great friends. This type is either needy for attention and has made being a slut into her shtick OR she is quite smart and everyone comes to her for advice, not only about sex. I respect this type the most. (You know I'm talking about you, Lady)

Girl B -The ones who are dishonest about what they do and nobody knows it, even the guys who they're with. These girls often have their own reasons for what they do and though it's easy to write off dishonest people, it's also important to realize that girls being open about things like sex can lead to dangerous situations (if the wrong guy thinks a girl is "easy" it can be an awful situation leading to unwanted sexual encounters/rape, even) and can turn away nice guys who only think they don't like the girl A type. Not to mention tons of unwanted gossip and drama. I think I'm this type, and I know that my morals are different from other people's morals, but I try to create and strictly follow my own standards. I have protected sex every time and I never create drama by letting anyone find out. I have one boyfriend and he is the only one who has ever come to my home. I'm not trying to justify it. I'm just saying that these girls are not dishonest-and-that's-all. There is some practicality and thought that goes into being this way. Especially in Japan, where I can't necessarily pick up on all the cultural cues / body language that would indicate a dangerous guy. I think it's important to be seen as a "good girl" when I travel for reasons of pure safety.

Girl C - These ones are jerks about it. They gossip about other people because they are ashamed of being the same way. They ditch their friends to go home with guys and then lie about having gone home early with a headache. They are really dramatic and judgemental and full of self-hate. I feel sorry for these girls. A lot of young girls start out like this and then finally become A or B when they grow to accept the way they are.

Girl D - The ones who never do anything. These girls date the same guy for years even though they want to try new situations / guys / etc. Some of them even get married and have children. They are the ones who fall prey to the midlife crisis and go absolutely fucking nuts at an age when A and B are toning it down. I met one girl like this in Okinawa at a hostel once. She was 38 years old and into group sex with teenage boys and doing tons of coke. She was just traveling the world picking up guys (and whatever else) all over the place. She had had 5 abortions. It's her life, but I'd rather accept being a slut when I'm young enough to do things slowly instead of making up for 20 years of insane sex in a mindblowing year of traveling the world.

I have done so much lately.

I went to a host club
Finally. I went with a really fun girl and it was really fun and I can see why it's addictive for some people. I'll write more about it later. I was stupid and gave my mail to a host and now he emails me 3 or 4 messages every day. Can getting smooth letters full of flattery and magic from a slim, nice-smelling, tanned Tokyo boy with big hair be called practicing my Japanese? I don't really care, though. The guy can do backflips. I saw it.

First street nampa
I got hit on on the road today. For the first time, I got Nampa by a skilled guy. I asked him for directions and didn't even realize how hot he was until he smiled and showed me where to go. Then he said, "Do I get a kiss for helping you out?" and he made me kiss him on the cheek in front of everyone in a crowded station. He said some really sexy things to me, too, some innuedoes about my soft lips and I was so turned on but didn't do anything about it and I got out of giving him my number. He was so good. Too good. I'll probably see him again. I think he's a nampa fixture, like some guys tend to be, and since he's my first road nampa, I'll keep him flirting with me on the road for a while but I will absolutely eventually give him my number. He wore glasses, which most of the slim, stylish, gyaruo-looking men don't do. He was 20 years old.

The New Boy (The boy who hasn't kissed me yet and doesn't drink but is funny and handsome)
I decided to break it up with the new boy after he sent me an email making a date with me two weeks away. We met over a month ago and we have been on 4 dates and he hasn't even kissed me yet and now is going to leave me hanging for two weeks? I was shocked and bored and wrote him an email chalking it up to culture difference and that if I were to go on a date with someone in my own country, they would try to touch me or kiss me if they liked me and I'm not sure if he likes me or wants to be friends. But my note was more subtle in Japanese, I hope. He was shocked and suggested that we meet up tonight but I couldn't do it and so we talked on the phone. He was so sweet and said that he just really, really likes me and that's why he hasn't tried to kiss me yet. He said that usually in Japan if a guy thinks a girl is really special, he will wait for up to 3 months before kissing her. That is so sweet and I would have been really into that in high school. But I am kind of a jerk for sending an email...and I feel bad now, actually. But this story fits in with the theme of this blog which is that guys in Japan are generally great and I have had so much luck meeting nice, handsome, kind, funny, hung men in this country. And it also means that next time we meet, he WILL finally make a move on me.

He doesn't drink

So sometimes I like to read Dealbreaker because it's funny. It's a list of things that are dealbreakers, meaning things that are turnoffs. For me, dealbreakers are things like these:

A fat/chubby man, a young balding man, a man who eats fast food every day, a man who likes listening to U2, a man with bad jeans, a shy man who doesn't make the moves on me, a older guy who is still a virgin (nothing wrong with this eat all, but I wouldn't want to take someone's virginity unless he is 18 or 19 years old) a man with a dirty bathroom or bed, a man who texts on the phone while he's on a date with me and we haven't slept together yet, a man who turns on the TV first thing in the morning, an unadventurous man who won't have sex outside in the summertime... many things, I guess.

Anyway, on Dealbreaker, one of the dealbreakers is "doesn't drink" and even though I don't love alcohol either, I agree that alcohol is kind of important on the first date. Without alcohol, how can you start laughing and touching each other? Without alcohol, how can you go from a restaurant (formal, lights on, separated by a table) to a bar (cozy, low lights, couch, able to see my legs)? Without alcohol, how can you "miss" the last train?

Everyone in Japan knows that missing the last train = sex.

I have been on a total of FOUR dates with the new guy and they've been difficult. He's hot and he's funny and nice, but every time we meet, he gets less and less desirable. We don't have much in common, just as I thought. He likes RnB music. He's interested in America. He flirts with me sometimes, but they're all really light innuendoes and I try to drag them out but I don't like being the aggressive one. He mails me about 3 times a day, though, and I love his lips. So I keep meeting him though I'm starting to get bored of him. I'm meeting him on Thursday and if he doesn't try to sleep with me, I might just have to make him my friend.

Here's the "he doesn't drink" dealbreaker:

"Really? Not at all? How about a Margarita…no you’re right that does have alcohol in it. You just want to get to know each other by talking? Sure we can talk…uh huh…totally…you don’t say…nope fuck this shit. I was hoping to make out with you later and maybe even take off each other pants and that’s just not going to happen without alcohol. Dating is super awkward (I can’t even look you in the eye!) and you’re taking away the one thing guaranteed to help it go a little smoother. Drinking has been a social lubricant for thousands of years of human history. Jesus Christ fucking drank wine. But you are a “mature person” so I guess you know better. Whatever. No hard feelings. Maybe you should move to Utah, that might be more your speed."